Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You ate ashes out of my bong
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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