i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
