R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
