would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The air taste purple.
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