Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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