matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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