my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
