im about as happy as oj after his trial
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize