You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
