I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
