so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
