Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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