Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize