Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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