I'll bet she douches with gravy.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
