wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
