Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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