put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
