the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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