I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
apparently the secret to your success is patron
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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