physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
