overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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