i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
