He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
where am i from again
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
