It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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