Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
