In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
