i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Just puked most of my soul out..
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