"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
