I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
