I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
