I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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