Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Where is the hickey?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
