Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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