Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Sacagawea was the original milf.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
