Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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