So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
