Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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