let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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