This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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