So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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