I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Terrible idea I love it
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
