After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize