I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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