If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
