oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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