I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Randomize
