the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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