This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
