Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
