i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
