With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
