Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
