Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
