i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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