last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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