I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
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