Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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